Tuesday, February 5, 2013

My endo story part 3: the pregnancy and beyond

After I recovered from the laparoscopy in which my right ovary and the giant cyst attached to it were removed, I thought very little of my endometriosis diagnosis. Why would I? I felt just fine, now that the discomfort from the big cyst was gone.

But in the fall of 2010, only a few months after my surgery, I started to notice a host of symptoms I either hadn't had or hadn't bothered to pay attention to before. I'd get twinges of pelvic or lower abdominal discomfort—often on my right side, but occasionally on my left. I had more intense cramping before, during, and after my period, which suddenly wasn't as regular as it used to be. (For years, I could tell you to within two hours the exact day and time each month my period was going to start. Really. But that wasn't the case anymore.) I had back pain, different than the back pain I'd experienced since being tackled and hitting my tailbone during a basketball game in high school. I just felt different a lot. Uncomfortable. Not me.

I started to notice that certain times were worse than others. Some of it related to my cycle, of course. But I also felt worse when I was stressed or not getting enough sleep or if I drank much alcohol.

January 2011 was one of my worst months. The Hubby and I took a (belated by more than a year) honeymoon to Hawaii at the end of January. It was a dream trip. We stayed at fabulous hotels. We spent lazy days exploring and walking on the beach and laying by the pool. We ate fabulous meals.

Yet I'd been bleeding off and on for weeks, was completely exhausted the whole time (more so than I should have been from the time difference between home and Maui), and on occasion grew awfully cranky for no reason. One night, we were supposed to eat at a restaurant that got rave reviews. But as we were headed toward it, a ridiculous rainstorm swept in. It was raining so hard there was no way we could sprint all the way to the restaurant we planned to go to, so we ducked into this cute little Italian restaurant, had a glass of wine, and decided to wait out the storm. When it didn't stop pouring and we grew hungry, we decided to stay and eat there.

It was the type of impromptu adventure I'd normally savor, but for some reason I just kept growing angrier and angrier at the change of plans. I was unhappy and knew I was being ridiculous, but that just made me even angrier. I had no idea why I couldn't turn my mood around, and ended up melting down at the dinner table. The Hubby was flummoxed, to say the least. So was I. My hormones were a mess, plain and simple.

Enjoying a wonderful honeymoon in Hawaii, despite a few health ups and downs.

After the honeymoon, I decided I needed to learn more about endometriosis and what I could do to regulate it. I had no intention of having another surgery if I could help it, and I also had no interest in trying any of the drugs I'd read about that could help keep symptoms in check, beyond the birth control pills I had been taking. They benefits just didn't seem to outweigh the drawbacks.

So I bought books about endo. I read everything I could about it. And I decided I'd pursue natural treatments. I didn't intend to cut anything out of my diet (I was too stubborn at that point), but I decided I'd at least try to reduce my consumption of wheat, dairy, alcohol, and caffeine and increase my consumption of fruits, veggies, and other healthful foods. I ordered essentials oils and a body brush so I could try some of the endometriosis self-help plan outlined in The Endometriosis Natural Treatment Program. I was ready to get serious about taking care of myself and ensuring endo didn't overtake my life.

And then—surprise!—I got pregnant.

When The Hubby asked about having kids at the beginning of 2010, I told him I wasn't quite ready and needed one more year. So after we returned from Hawaii in 2011, I didn't start a new month of my birth control pills.

We weren't in a hurry to have a child. And we were realistic about the fact that it might be difficult—or even impossible—to conceive given my single ovary and my endometriosis. We were taking a "let's just see what happens" approach to it.

What happened was I got pregnant almost immediately.

I had an inkling I was pregnant right away. I just felt different. Off. Not like normal. Perhaps because I'd been paying such close attention to my endo symptoms, I was in tune with my body. I spent about five days taking pregnancy tests, knowing I was pregnant even though the tests said I wasn't, before that telltale line appeared (very faintly).

When I told The Hubby, he was as surprised as I was. I don't know that he really believed me at first until he, too, saw the very faint line. How did we get so lucky to get pregnant so quickly and easily? I have no idea. It was a completely unexpected, welcome (yet surprising) blessing. (The Hubby, of course, took full credit for it.)

And so, ready or not, we were off, embarking on the great big frighteningly wonderful adventure of pregnancy and parenthood. I was incredibly fortunate to have an easy pregnancy. Of course I had the usual aches and pains and trouble associated with growing another human being, but I got off pretty easy compared to most. In fact, I loved being pregnant. I was happy. I was healthy. And my endo didn't bother me at all.

Little's Man's birth went off without a hitch too, aside from the fact that he was breech and had to be delivered by C-section. (If you're so inclined, you can learn a bit about the big day here.)

Meet our Little Man!

And then I was a mommy! Talk about a big, crazy, scary, exciting world that is. I was so consumed with nursing and caring for Little Man that I thought of little else for many months.

In the last few months of nursing little man, I did start to notice some rather sharp back pain returning and an occasional twinge in my lower right pelvis. But it was nothing very frequent or too much cause for concern. 

While I was nursing, my endo symptoms were mostly absent.

Once I stopped nursing, though, things began getting increasingly out of whack, to use a rather scientific term. The pain and discomfort have gradually increased each month. I've experienced more bloating and digestive issues than I remembered having before. The strange thing is, I haven't even really had a period since before I had Little Man. I went on the Depo shot after my six-week postpartum checkup, and because of it, even after I finished nursing, I didn't get my period.

Yet my endo symptoms kept increasing. Now, the last few months, I have had a bit of spotting, and plenty of cramping and other issues, but I still haven't really had a period. I've been exhausted. More tired even than when I was getting up every 2 hours or so each night to nurse Little Man.

This body of mine is a strange, strange place, I'm realizing.

As the pain and discomfort and bloating and digestive issues and such have increased, so has my resolve to get serious once again about minimizing the effect my symptoms have on my life. This is particularly important to me now, when I can't be slowed down by back pain or repeated trips to the bathroom or exhaustion or anything else. I have a family that needs my love and attention, I have work that has to be done. I have to be healthy to be me.

Previously: The surgery and The cyst.

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